Adultery: The Problem of Sex Outside of Marriage

In Matthew 5:28, Jesus says, “That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Jesus’ definition is important to keep in mind. Therefore, for this “A,” I include infidelity, prostitution, and pornography. According to researchers, 55% of divorces are due to infidelity[1]. And a 2004 study in Social Science Quarterly stated that people who admit to having extramarital affairs were over 300% more likely to admit consuming porn than those who have never had an affair[2]. When we think of the porn industry, we usually picture men as being the main consumers. But women also consume porn. And porn is not just pictures and videos. Porn hides on the bookshelf under the guise of romance novels and has become mainstream.

Sex outside of marriage, whether with married or single adults, has even become prevalent within the church. According to an article in Christianity Today International, pastors have reported that the 8 top sexual issues damaging to their congregation are: 57% pornography addiction, 34% sexually active never-married adults, 30% adultery of married adults, 28%sexually active teenagers, 16% sexual dissatisfaction, 14% unwed pregnancy, 13% sexually active previously married adults, and 9% sexual abuse[3]. Adultery isn’t just the world’s problem anymore. It’s the church’s, too.

We can’t pretend that these issues don’t happen. It’s time to begin a discussion about these issues. To begin examining our lives and looking for any holes we might have. When we turn to God and put up those needed boundaries in our lives, it can help us avoid sin. And when we teach our children those boundaries, we can help them do the same. Movies, television shows, and books often seem harmless when they actually open doors to places we shouldn’t go. Social media is increasing our susceptibility. How many innocent conversations online have turned into affairs? How many times have we accidentally stumbled onto something and began looking at and reading things we shouldn’t?

Related: Mental Purity

Another kind of adultery

But we don’t just have to be careful about marital adultery. Putting anything before Christ is just as damaging as cheating on your husband. Not only does it drive a wedge between us and Christ, but it cheapens our relationships on Earth. If we can’t be faithful to the One Who never disappoints us or forsakes us, Who shows us nothing but kindness and mercy, how will we be faithful to one who’s human and will let us down, who will be absent and hold grudges? It is just as important to steel ourselves against spiritual adultery.

So let’s pray for one another. Let’s pray for our spouses, our friends, our children. Pray that we’ll avoid temptation, that we’ll maintain needed boundaries just as we would hope our spouses do. Let’s pray that we’ll show our relationship the respect we want from our spouses. And let’s work on our relationship with Christ. Let’s give Him the respect and priority that He is due.